One Anothering: Teach and Speak Truthfully to One Another
One Anothering: Teach and Speak Truthfully by Rev. L. John Gable
January 12, 2020
The past couple of weeks we have been looking together at several of the many “one anothering” passages in the New Testament. While each of these may be heard as a stand-alone message, they also form something of a daisy chain when they are linked together. We began with the admonition for us to “meet with one another”, emphasizing the communal nature of our faith, and of “welcoming and accepting one another” – despite our difference and disagreements – “just as Christ has welcomed us”, and that for the sake of “harmony to the glory of God”.
But in that appeal for harmony and unity – unity not uniformity – is that to suggest that real issues of disagreement and dissent are not to be debated or discussed? Absolutely not! In fact we could even argue that such differences and disagreements are best to be aired here, in the Church, among our fellow brothers and sisters, rather than elsewhere because here, with one another, we have a common sense of unity and shared identity. Recall E. Stanley Jones saying, “You belong to Christ. I belong to Christ. We belong together.” Together, with one another, even in our times of disagreement, we can agree that the One who unites us is greater than anything that seeks to divide us…unless of course we choose to allow it to.
Given that “persons of good character and principle may differ”, such as we affirm as a foundational understanding of what it means to be a Presbyterian, it is contingent upon us that we learn how to differ and disagree, discuss and debate in ways that are God-honoring and respectful of one another. It does the cause of Christ and the witness and mission of the Church no benefit if we can’t demonstrate to the world our ability get along with one another, even as we embrace and honor, even celebrate, our differences.
Each of our Scripture lessons this morning, both Old and New Testament, encourage us to “teach and speak truth to one another.” The Old Testament prophet Zechariah writes, “These are the things you shall do: speak the truth to one another, render in your gates (that is, within these walls) judgments that are true and make for peace.” In his letter to the Colossians, Paul instructs that we are to “teach and admonish one another in all wisdom” and again in Ephesians he writes, “So then, putting away all falsehood, let us all speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another”, just as several verses before this we hear his famous admonition that we are to “speak the truth…in love.”
As followers of Jesus we are called to be “truth speakers” and we need to surround ourselves with people who will speak the truth to us, not in order to tear us down but to build us up, not in order to wound us but to heal us. Admittedly, sometimes the truth hurts. It is uncomfortable to have the bright light of truth shined in to the darkened places of our lives because invariably there is some dirt there which must be cleaned up and cleared out. Painful and soul-searching as that may be, when that happens I want it to be done by someone who I knows me and loves me and desires what is best for me, like the doctor who had to perform surgery on his own son, saying, “I may hurt you but I will never harm you.”
So when we are called to speak the truth to another we must first do a gut check to determine both our methods and our motives. As theologian Reinhold Niebuhr noted, “We must fight the falsehood with our truth, and fight the falsehood in our truth.” It is not simply “our” truth that we are trying to promote, but God’s truth, so we have to be careful not to slip in to the presumption that God always agrees with me. As Lincoln wisely said, “My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side.” To this end Paul writes that we are to “clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another (there is another one anothering passage), and if one has a complaint against the other, forgiving each other, just as the Lord has forgiven you.” Louis Smedes writes, “The art of honesty is to tell the right truth to the right person at the right time (in the right way)…Some people have the instinct for telling the right truth at the wrong time, but telling it does not make them more honest, only more cruel.” The truth can be a sharp scalpel, cutting out the cancer within us, but it can also be a blunt instrument which bludgeons and does more harm than good. Calvin Miller writes, “Malicious truth gloats like a conqueror; loving truth mourns that it must confront and show a brother or sister in error. Malicious truth struts at its power; loving truth weeps to find that the correction it inspires may for a while cause great pain. Malicious truth cries, ‘Checkmate, you are beaten!’; loving truth whispers, “I correct you with the same pain you feel, but when the pain is over, we shall both rejoice that honesty and love have been served.” So when we speak the truth, as we are called to do, let us commit ourselves first to speaking it in love, with grace, gentleness and humility.
It takes courage to speak the truth to one another, even in love, doesn’t it? It is not an easy thing to speak honestly with another, particularly when it is a hard truth that needs to be shared, so speaking the truth requires boldness, some act of courage on the part of the speaker, but it also requires some good measure of grace and humility on the part of the one who is receiving that hard truth without our getting defensive or back on our heels or our dander up lest we are unable to hear the truth being spoken to us.
In recent months many of us have found ourselves having hard conversations, hearing difficult truths, asking and being asked hard questions, particularly regarding issues of race and social justice. When we have engaged in those difficult conversations we have found ourselves in the position of being both “truth-tellers”, struggling with how to speak honestly and clearly and boldly to one another, and also “truth-receivers” who have had to pause and listen before we speak or act or defend ourselves, which again calls for a good measure of grace and humility.
Several weeks ago I was invited to be part of a panel of area pastors who were asked to have a Zoom conversation on issues of racism and social justice. At one point in the conversation I said something to the effect that I was still growing in my awareness of the issues and am working on finding the right language to speak about them. One of the other pastors in the conversation asked, rather assertively, “Where have you been? Why now? What has taken you so long?” Now, I could have taken offense at that question, but I chose instead to take it as an opportunity to reflect and consider my response. I have come to see this as a time in which I can hold a mirror up to my own face, to look at my own image and actions, not those of anyone else. For me, this has become a time for self-reflection and examination, so since that call I have been asking myself, “Where have I been on some of these issues? And where am I now?” I believe that that kind of honest hearing of the truth is as necessary as is the honest sharing of it. I need someone to speak the truth to me- honestly, boldly, gently, in love – and I need to learn to receive it as it is intended, with all the humility I can muster, knowing and trusting that it is being given for my benefit.
Speaking the truth with one another is part of the life of discipleship, part of what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ, the One who says, “I am the Truth”, and a member of His company called the Church. Even as we know that we must say “yes” to those things that are God-honoring and Kingdom building, so we must also have the courage and conviction to say “no” to those things that are not. Some things are simply wrong, inconsistent and contrary to Christian teaching and life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. So in our saying “yes” to Him we must be willing to say “no” to those things which are inconsistent with being one of His followers.
Sometimes we witness events or systems or powers or authorities that simply must have truth spoken to them and in that moment we suddenly realize that we are the ones who are called to speak that truth: right time, right place, right truth – and this not because of who we are but because of who Christ is to us. The truth we speak is not ours but His. As Oswald Chambers put it, “God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.”
One of my favorite stories comes from a time near the end of the Roman Empire when a monk visited the great city of Rome and joined the crowds in the Coliseum to witness the gladiatorial games. This man of God was shocked by the violence being waged by the two combatants in the arena and was disgusted by the reaction of the crowd calling for bloodshed and death. At first to himself, almost under his breath, the monk began to say, “no, no!”, but as he stood to leave his voice became louder and stronger, “No! No!”, and to his surprise others began to join in and soon the Coliseum was filled with the chorus, “NO! NO!” Shortly thereafter the death games of the gladiators were banned from the Roman Empire altogether. One voice speaking a word of truth tipped the scales.
Someone dared to speak the truth with a “No!”, with a “there is a better way for us to live with one another,” and others joined them in the chorus.
William Wilberforce almost singlehandedly helped awaken 19th century England to the horrors of the slave trade. Alexander Solzhenitsyn compelled the world to grasp the evils of Soviet Communism. Mahatma Gandhi became the voice calling out the injustices of the caste system in India. Desmond Tutu courageously helped South Africa abandon apartheid. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, called attention to issues of racism and social injustice in our nation. Each of these dared to speak the truth: honestly, lovingly, convincingly, compellingly, boldly. May we have the courage and conviction to do the same with one another. Amen.