Talking About Life and Death
Talking About Life and Death by Rev. L. John Gable
March 3, 2022
In January of 2020, just weeks before everything started to shut down from the pandemic, I called my then 95 year old mother one day to tell her that I had a free Friday coming up, my day off, and that I was planning to come over to St. Louis to visit her. Without missing a beat she said, “Oh good, we can plan my funeral!” Not exactly the response I was expecting. Then when I talked with her this week asking if it was alright if I used that story she said, “Sure, and the next time you come maybe we can tweak it a little.”
Death is easier for some people to talk about than others, perhaps depending on our age or our health or on the hope we hold. Perhaps because of my profession death and dying is a regular part of our family lexicon. When our kids were little and we only had a single landline in our home we had to train them on what to do and what to say when someone called crying or identifying themselves as a funeral director, which was somewhat problematic for our daughter Jenn who was just learning to talk and struggled with the word “funeral”, calling it a “fruneral”, which continues to be a family joke for us still today.
Death though is not an easy topic for any of us to think about or talk about. As Woody Allen said, “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens” and Sigmund Freud went so far as to say, “It is indeed impossible to imagine our own death, and whenever we attempt to do so, we perceive that we are in fact still present as spectators”. There is some truth to the saying that “When we are young death is like a 5th cousin living in Australia. When we are old he has moved in to the guest room.”
As difficult as it may be to think about or talk about, it is necessary and helpful, both for the one who is dying and for those who will remain. So, I encourage you, when given that opportunity, to step in to that awkward space, either by initiating it with those closest to you or engaging in it when asked. And in preparation for that important conversation I encourage you, if you have not already done so, to complete one of our funeral planning forms as a gift to those who one day will be asked to make arrangements on your behalf. Those forms are available in McKee Chapel hallway this morning.
We lean in to this topic on this first Sunday in Lent, the season set apart for us to reflect and repent and prepare for the celebration of Easter, beginning with our Ash Wednesday service this past week during which we were reminded of our mortality even as we anticipate and prepare for our own resurrection day.
In this section of John’s Gospel Jesus continues to drive home the message of Who He Is, and as we’ve seen previously His listeners continue to not understand what He is saying. I have found it helpful to understand that Scripture tells what may be called both a “lower story” and an “upper story”, the lower story of human activity, the upper story of how God is working His purposes out. Jesus says as much here when He says to His questioners, “You are from below, I am from above; you are of this world, I am not of this world.” One of the great desires in our walk with Christ is to grow in our trust and understanding of the upper story as we experience life in the lower story. So, in this section Jesus says, “Where I am going you cannot come”, and the religious leaders think He’s threatening to take His own life. In other Gospel accounts when Jesus does talk about His pending death even His own disciples aren’t ready or willing to hear it or talk about it, so they make every effort to change the subject.
I will confess as I read this passage this week in preparation for this message I wondered why I chose to preach on it at all. I realized that I often think of what I might call these kind of transitional passages as simply being the necessary bridge between the stories John intends to tell us, but in this case I could not have been more mistaken. Here Jesus makes a remarkable, and often overlooked, statement about Himself. He says, “I told you that you would die in your sins unless you believe that I am He.” You may hear that “I AM” claim He is once again making here. Archbishop William Temple writes, “There are only two possible centers for life: God and self. If we are not becoming centered upon God we are becoming centered on self, and self-centeredness is the essence of sin.” So here Jesus makes the claim that unless we center our lives on Him, God’s full revelation in human flesh, we will die in our sin. That is a remarkably bold statement Jesus is making about Himself. Reflecting on this passage, theologian Dale Bruner writes, “I do not know of a paragraph in the Gospel where one does not come away with the impression – in the vernacular- that “Jesus is it!”, that Jesus is the monumental revelation of God in person.” Friends, this is not a throw-away passage for Jesus’ hearers then or now.
Here He is underscoring Who He is and how we will know with certainty Who He is when He says, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM He.” What an interesting little phrase. When we think of His being “lifted up”, perhaps we think of what we do in worship as we “lift up” His name in adoration and praise, but Jesus had something altogether different in mind. For Him being “lifted up” meant His being hung upon the cross, crucified, put to death. Later He will say, “When I AM lifted up, I will draw all people to Myself.” What He is doing is making it clear that it is not His words, His miracles, His healings that set Jesus apart as the Son of God, but His death on the cross, His paying the penalty for our sin that sets Him apart from all other prophets and leaders and so-called messiahs. Through His being “lifted up” He would confirm that God was with Him, that death was not the hard stop it had always been believed to be, rather it was the means to new life, abundant and eternal, through His death and resurrection. His sacrificial death demonstrates His ultimate confidence in God (His Heavenly Father) and it was God’s ultimate confirmation that Jesus was the great I AM! During the pastors’ Bible study on Wednesday one of our participants offered this quote from memory: “We forget that, ‘being disguised under the disfigurement of an ugly crucifixion and death, the Christform upon the cross is paradoxically the clearest revelation of God there is.’” So beautifully put. This is what Paul was getting at when he wrote to the Corinthians, “I decided to know nothing among except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified”; not Him resurrected, but Him crucified. In the cross we are shown the full extent of God’s love for us and without it we will die in our sin.
As we’ve seen elsewhere in John’s Gospel, whenever Jesus makes a statement such as this one, He then gives a sign or a miracle to prove it, almost as if to say, “talk is cheap.” That proof comes in our second lesson, the familiar story of the death of His friend Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha. We have heard parts of this story before. Jesus and His disciples frequented the home of these friends who lived in Bethany, just a few miles from Jerusalem, enjoying a meal or perhaps even staying the night there when visiting the city. The lead up to our lesson this morning, Lazarus has taken ill and his sisters send word to Jesus in the hope that He would come and heal him, but He doesn’t. Jesus intentionally waits for two days before even starting on His way to Bethany and then arrives four days after Lazarus has died. That’s where our reading of the story picks up. Lazarus has been dead four days which is significant because in Jewish theology it was believed that the soul of the deceased lingered around the body for three days, then departed permanently on the fourth day. So John is letting us know that Lazarus was not just dead, he was “dead dead”.
When Jesus arrives Martha (the doer of the two sisters) rushes out to greet Him while Mary (the reflecter) waits at home. It is interesting that John shows us two different, yet very appropriate, ways to grieve. Given the depth of their friendship Martha gets right up in to Jesus’ face, saying, “Lord, if You had been here my brother would not have died.” This is one of those passages I would love to have heard how she said this. I hear her as being mad, frustrated, disappointed, “Where have you been? Why didn’t you come?” Again, John is giving us permission to approach our friend Jesus honestly. Martha then adds this word of hope or confidence when she says, “But even now I know that God will do whatever You ask of Him.” It is as if she is saying, “Can’t you do something? It’s still not too late, is it?” And Jesus says, “He will rise again!” Martha, perhaps thinking that Jesus is giving her a bit of Hallmark theology or a pious platitude, says, “I know, I know, I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day, but what about right NOW!?” Comforting words, but where’s the proof? And Jesus says, “I AM the proof. I AM the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in Me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die.” And with that He walks to the tomb and calls Lazarus back to life.
That statement alone changes everything about the way we can talk about life and death. As He said earlier, without confidence in this promise, we die in our sin. When He talked about being “lifted up” He was offering Himself as the way to new life, abundant and eternal, and when He spoke those words John tells us “many who heard Him believed Him.” When He asked Martha, “Do you believe this?” she said, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming in to the world.” Listen carefully to her answer, she doesn’t say she necessarily understands what He is going to do or how He is going to do it, but she does say, “Yes, Lord, I believe YOU!” Friends, that is all that is being asked of us today as we talk about life and death.
Saying that we believe that Jesus is the resurrection and the life is so much more than a beautiful sentiment we can write on a sympathy card; it is a cornerstone affirmation of who we believe Jesus is, an affirmation that is ultimately confirmed on the Easter day.
As we put our trust in Jesus we are able, with renewed confidence and hope, to face the stark realities of life and of death with the confidence that what God did for Him He promises to do for you and me as well. Given this great hope and promise, talking about life and death can be a great privilege and joy, such that “Oh good, we can plan my funeral” is in fact a wonderful way to spend a Friday afternoon with someone you love.
Rev. L. John Gable
Tabernacle Presbyterian Church
Indianapolis, IN