Little Sins, Big Consequences: Gossip
Little Sins, Big Consequences by Rev. L. John Gable
March 8, 2020
The story is told of the three pastors who went camping one night. They made camp on a little island in the middle of a river and late that night, as they sat around the campfire visiting, one of them suggested that they should each confess their greatest sin. Each acknowledged that they often didn’t have anyone else to talk with about such things, so the first confessed that he was a closet alcoholic, that he needed a strong drink every Sunday morning before he stood up to preach. The second confessed that at one point, early in his ministry, he was having trouble making ends meet so he had embezzled some money from the church. After a long period of silence the third said, “I confess that I am an incurable gossip and I can’t wait to get off of this island!”
Gossip, the first topic we will address in our Lenten series on “Little Sins, Big Consequences.”
There is a French tale about an old peasant who was making his way to the market when he noticed a piece of string in the mud. Being a thrifty fellow he painfully stooped to pick it up, thinking he could find some use for such a fine piece of string. He wiped it clean, put it in his pocket and continued on his way. That evening an announcement was made by the local authorities that earlier that morning on the road into town a black leather pocketbook had been lost and a handsome reward was being offered for its return. The crowd at the inn where the man was staying began to talk about the unlikely chances of the pocketbooks return when a police officer came through the door and announced that the mayor of the city wanted to see the peasant man immediately. The poor man was both stunned and intimidated as the magistrate accused him of having the purse, saying someone had seen him that morning pick something up out of the mud and quickly sticking it in his pocket on the way to the market. Of course, the man denied the charges, saying, “I didn’t do it! I know nothing about it! Whoever told you it was me is telling a lie. I was picking up a piece of string!” which he proceeded to show the mayor. Being a fair and trusting man, the mayor believed the peasant’s story and sent him on his way, but already the news had spread.
As the old man left the town hall he was surrounded by people asking questions, but none of them believed his profession of innocence. Everywhere he went that day he was stopped and asked to repeat his story. Showing his pockets turned inside out and presenting the little piece of string, still no one believed he was telling the truth.
The next day the pocketbook was found on that very road and returned to its rightful owner and the reward was paid. The old man was informed of it and started again to tell his story, now with its proper ending, but the people still seemed unconvinced. Rumor started that he had stolen the pocketbook and returned it by an accomplice in order to get the reward. The old man protested, but no one would listen. He felt ashamed and indignant and wounded to the heart by the injustice of the unfounded suspicion. So he continued to tell his story in an attempt to clear his name, each time making it a little longer, adding new reasons, making solemn oaths, yet the more elaborate his story became, the less he was believed. Under the burden of the story the little man began to waste away and before long he took to his bed. He died less than a month later and in his last delirium he continued to protest his innocence, saying, “A little piece of string. Look, here it is. A little piece of string!” (The Piece of String, Guy de Maupassant)
Each of us knows something of the hurt and harm caused by unfounded, mean-spirited gossip, of the damage done and the reputations ruined by idle rumors. There is great power, for good and for ill, held by the tongue, by the pen and the press, by the text and the tweet and the blog, by the 24 hour news cycle and the roundtable of pundits with the insatiable appetite for something to talk about to an audience that always clamors for more. The rabbis had a teaching, “Life and death are in the hands of the tongue. Just as the hand kills, so the tongue; the hand kills only at close quarters, but the tongue can kill at any distance. It ranges over the whole earth and reaches to the heavens. A person can ward off a blow from the hand, for the striker must be present, but someone can say a malicious word or tell a scandalous or untrue story about someone they do not even know or about someone hundreds of miles away, and cause infinite harm.”
The tongue is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison” writes James in our Scripture lesson this morning. So, for this reason, he gives stern warning. In a phrase, he tells his listeners, then and now, to “watch your tongue”, and there is great wisdom in his admonition, both socially and spiritually. Isn’t it curious that the first thing the doctor says when you go in for a check-up is “Open your mouth. Let me see your tongue”? James might well say the same concerning our spiritual health.
Did you know the word “gossip” was originally used in a very positive way, in the context of the church? It comes from the same root as “Gospel”. A “gossip” was one who stands as a sponsor at the time of baptism. It was a “God sibling”, a brother or sister in the faith. A gossip was intended to be one who stands close to, and is concerned for, the spiritual well-being of another. Yet somehow, over time, no doubt through its misuse, the sharing of concern became a matter of concern, which is a good reminder to each of us in Christian circles of the care we must take when sharing prayer requests with one another. Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe our ministry of prayer, with and for one another, is one of the most important and meaningful things we do; however, we must ever safeguard that our prayer requests don’t become the grist for the rumor mill. I have a little cartoon that pictures a woman on the phone saying, “Thelma, you’ll never guess who needs our prayers and why?”
As we look more closely at James’ letter he gives us good warning and sound advice on matters of our speech. He begins by saying that the tongue, which is a small member of the body, has great power and even control over us, and he uses the analogy of the bridle in the mouth of a horse or the rudder on a ship. His point is if we can control, or censure, what we say, then we can control our other actions, as well. How often have we been hurt, or caused hurt, because we have forgotten the seemingly simple advice our mothers’ gave us “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” or “Count to ten before you speak” or we might add, “Wait 24 hours before you press ‘send’ on that scathing email you’ve written.” The tongue, and its many allies, is indeed a sharp sword that can do great harm.
James points us to a deeper reality of this as well. Consistent with Jesus’ teaching he reminds us that our words find their source in our hearts, so we need to monitor not only our mouths, but our motives, as well. So, “Create in me a clean heart”, prays the Psalmist. I liked this little bit of wisdom I heard years ago so quickly committed it to memory.
“Be careful of your thoughts because your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words because your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions because your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits because your habits become your character. Be careful of your character because your character becomes your destiny.”
A second word of caution James offers is that the tongue has an uncontrollable effect. It is “a fire that sets a forest ablaze”. We all know it doesn’t take much to get the rumor mill going, so we must be diligent in our attention to what we say and to whom we say it and how we say it, for once our words pass our lips they are gone forever. Another bit of ancient wisdom tells us, “Three things cannot come back: the spent arrow, the lost opportunity, the spoken word.” To that we might add, “the sent email or the Instagram or Facebook post.” Friends, we must watch our tongues as well as our tweets for the damage they do can be great and irreparable.
So when given the occasion to tell a story, and we all know how tempting it is to tell a good story or to share a juicy bit of gossip, someone has suggested that we first make it pass a three-way test. We should ask ourselves – is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? If it passes this test we may tell the story without fear of what the results may be. I believe that’s good advice, yet I might add one further test, is it something I would say if that person was present? I have tried to make it my practice that whenever I am repeating a story or speaking on another’s behalf or writing an email in which I am speaking of or about another person, I try to speak or write as if that person was hearing me or was going to read what I had written. If you will, I think in terms of “copying” them on the message, even if I am not actually doing so, so that if they happen to hear or read what I’ve said they will be able to say “He has spoken truthfully and fairly about me.” And if I can’t do that then I won’t say it or write it. It is amazing to me how that little bit of guidance has shaped what I’ve said or written, and I can only imagine how much hurt or harm it has saved. I was reminded this week at Pastors’ Bible study that President Lincoln frequently wrote letters expressing his anger or disappointment that he never intended to send, many of which were found in his writing desk after his death.
Lorenzo Scupoli says, “Speak as little as may be of thy neighbor or anything that concerns him, unless of course an opportunity offers to say something good.” Which brings us to the third and final point. We have heard that our tongues, though small are mighty and that our words, once spoken, are uncontrollable and whereas these first two arguments are sound advice for any audience, James concludes his admonition with an encouragement that has a uniquely spiritual bent. This word is intended for the church, then and now. He says, “With the tongue we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.” James is arguing for the consistency of our witness, and he uses the analogy of a tree that cannot bear two types of fruit or a spring that cannot put forth both brackish water and clean. James calls us, no he makes it stronger than that, he commands us, with all spiritual authority, to watch our tongues for the sake of Christ and our witness to His Lordship. If our witness is to be believable, we cannot, we must not, offer praises to God in here and then curse those whom God loves out there. If our faith is real and our witness is genuine we can no longer speak with the divided tongue of bane and blessing. James insists that, for the Christian a double-tongue is unthinkable and unacceptable.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the Brooklyn Tabernacle, a wonderful church in New York City. The pastor there, Jim Cymbala, tells how nearly three decades ago he was presenting a group of new members to the congregation when, without having thought about it before, he said something that he continues to say every time they now receive new members. Speaking to this group of new members and in effect to the whole church, he said, “Now I charge you, as pastor of this church, that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone – myself, another pastor, an usher, a choir member, another member – you have the authority to stop that person in mid-sentence and say, ‘Excuse me, who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it the pastor? Then let’s go to his office right now. He will get on his knees and apologize to you, and then we’ll pray together, so that God can restore peace to this body.’ We will not let you talk critically about people who are not present to defend themselves. And if you are ever the one doing the loose talking we will confront you.”(Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire p. 160)
Friends, imagine the rumors that would be spread about this church, about Christ’s church, if word got out that in here, in this body, among these people, there was no gossip, no whispering, no unkind words spoken, only words of blessing and encouragement and truth spoken in love. I dare say that at first people would not believe it, but then they would want to be a part of it. What a witness we would be if we bridled the tongues and only spoke the truth in love.
Mighty is the tongue, so let us use it for blessing only, for blessing God and for blessing those whom God loves, and to that end may the Psalmist’s prayer be each of ours, “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O God, our Rock and our Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14) Amen.